One of the most common myths about grief is the idea that we can simply "replace the loss" to ease the pain. This myth is something many of us are taught early in life, and it can hold us back from truly healing.
Early Lessons in Replacing, Not Processing
Think back to childhood—when we lose something important, like a favorite toy or pet. In an attempt to make us feel better, adults often offer a replacement, hoping to ease our distress. While this gesture may provide temporary comfort, it can also teach us an unhelpful lesson: instead of fully processing the loss, we learn to replace what we’ve lost with something new.
The Cycle of Replacement as We Grow Older
As we grow older, this pattern can carry over into many parts of our lives. For example, after the end of a romantic relationship, it can feel like we "need" to find someone new right away to fill the void. The same can happen when we lose a job, a home, or even a material possession. We often turn to these external things in an attempt to replace the emptiness, without taking the time to heal.
But this cycle doesn’t allow us to process grief. It pushes us to avoid our true feelings, which can keep us stuck in unresolved emotions.
Acknowledging the Loss, Not Replacing It
True healing happens when we allow ourselves to feel the pain and sadness of a loss, instead of replacing it with something else. Grief is not about filling the void with a new partner, a new item, or a new identity. It’s about sitting with the loss, feeling the emotions, and giving ourselves permission to heal.
When we face our grief head-on, we can begin the journey toward emotional recovery.
What’s Your Next Step?
Are you ready to explore these myths and start creating space for true healing?
I invite you to download our Comprehensive Grief Assessment, our FREE Grief Recovery 101 Guide or dive into our Grief 201 Guide + Audiobook to learn practical tools for processing tangible losses and nurturing your emotional resilience —all resources designed to help you identify and begin addressing the myths that might be keeping you stuck.
Healing starts when we give ourselves permission to question what we’ve been taught and open up to new ways of processing our emotions. Let’s take that first step together.