One of the most damaging myths about grief is don't feel bad. This message often shows up wrapped in good intentions—things like stay positive or look on the bright side.
While positivity can be powerful in the right context, using it to bypass or bury your grief is not healing—it’s harmful.
The danger of emotional denial
When we tell ourselves don’t feel bad, we begin to shut down parts of our emotional world. At first, it may feel like self-protection. But over time, this denial creates a numbness that can seep into everything.
What starts as don’t feel bad often turns into don’t feel at all. And that disconnection doesn’t stay contained.
When we stop allowing ourselves to feel grief, we also start losing access to joy, hope, and meaning. It becomes harder to engage with life or connect with others. The longer we avoid our emotions, the more stuck we feel.
The slow spiral of suppression
Emotional suppression doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a slow spiral.
What begins as a way to avoid pain can quietly evolve into a complete detachment from who we are. The phrase don’t feel bad becomes don’t feel, and then—without realizing it—we slide into don’t.
Don’t show up. Don’t try. Don’t hope.
This spiral is how we end up in places of hopelessness, isolation, and disconnection. It’s not because we’re broken—it’s because we were never taught how to grieve honestly.
Healing means feeling
True healing asks us to feel all of it—the sadness, the anger, the numbness, the confusion. These emotions are not signs of weakness. They are evidence that you loved deeply and that something meaningful has shifted.
You do not have to be afraid of your feelings. You were designed to move through them—not around them.
When you allow space for your full emotional experience, you make room for healing to begin.
Permission to grieve fully
If you’ve ever been told to keep it together, move on, or stay strong, let this be your permission slip to do the opposite.
- You are allowed to feel.
- You are allowed to take your time.
- You are allowed to grieve without apology.
And you don’t have to do it alone. Whether you’re just starting or have been stuck for a while, there’s support available for you right now.
Take the next step forward
Ready to explore more myths and begin the process of feeling again? Start today with one of our free resources:
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Download the Comprehensive Grief Assessment
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Access our FREE Grief Recovery 101 Guide
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Explore the Grief 201 Guide + Audiobook
Healing begins with permission—the permission to feel, to be real, and to move forward at your own pace. Let’s take that step together.