The holiday season can bring up more than just festive feelings. For many people navigating grief, it also triggers painful memories and unexpected emotions. Whether it’s a smell, a song, a place, or a tradition, these reminders can stir up grief in ways that catch you off guard.
Understanding how to recognize and manage these triggers can help you find more peace and compassion for yourself during this challenging time.
What Are Holiday Triggers?
Triggers are things that bring back strong emotional reactions linked to loss or trauma. During the holidays, triggers might include:
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Decorations or music that remind you of someone who’s no longer here
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Family traditions that feel impossible to continue
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Photos or stories shared at gatherings
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The absence of someone at the table or in your life
These triggers can cause feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, or loneliness. Sometimes they come on suddenly and without warning.
Why Do Triggers Feel So Intense?
The holidays are full of sensory experiences that connect deeply with our memories and emotions. Grief already affects your nervous system, so it can be more sensitive to these reminders. Triggers aren’t a sign that you’re “doing grief wrong.” They are a natural response to loss.
How to Prepare and Respond to Holiday Triggers
Here are some strategies to help you navigate these moments with kindness toward yourself:
1. Acknowledge Your Experience
When a trigger hits, allow yourself to recognize it. Saying to yourself “This is hard right now” can validate your feelings instead of pushing them away.
2. Practice Grounding Techniques
Focus on the present moment. Try deep breathing, noticing what you can see, hear, or feel around you. This can help reduce overwhelm.
3. Create New Meaning
If a tradition feels painful, consider creating a new one that honors your feelings or the person you miss. It might be lighting a candle, writing a letter, or volunteering.
4. Set Boundaries
You don’t have to participate in every event or conversation. Give yourself permission to say no or step away if you need to.
5. Reach Out for Support
Connect with friends, family, or a grief support group. Talking about your feelings can help you feel less alone.
If holiday triggers feel overwhelming, remember that healing is a process. For deeper guidance, explore my Grief Recovery 101 and 201 Workbooks or join the Grief Recovery Method® 6-Week Course for support tailored to your journey.