The holiday season is full of parties, gatherings, and celebrations. But when you’re grieving, those festive events can feel overwhelming or even painful. You might find yourself facing questions, awkward moments, or feelings of loneliness in a crowd. It’s okay to feel this way. Grief doesn’t pause just because the calendar says “holiday.”
If you’re wondering how to get through holiday parties without losing yourself, here are some gentle strategies to help you show up on your own terms and protect your emotional wellbeing.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
First, it’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid. You might feel sad, anxious, or even disconnected. You might also have moments of joy or laughter, and that’s okay too. There is no right or wrong way to feel at holiday gatherings. Giving yourself permission to feel whatever comes up is the first step.
Plan Ahead and Set Boundaries
Consider what you can realistically handle. It’s okay to say no to parties that feel too much or to leave early if you need to. If you decide to attend, set clear boundaries for yourself:
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Decide how long you want to stay
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Identify who you want to spend time with
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Plan a quiet activity afterward to decompress
Having a plan can help reduce anxiety and give you a sense of control.
Bring a Support Person
If possible, bring a trusted friend or family member who understands what you’re going through. Having someone by your side can make the event feel safer and provide a comfortable space if you need to step away or talk.
Prepare Responses for Difficult Questions
Holiday parties often involve small talk or questions about how you’re doing. It’s okay to prepare simple, honest responses in advance. For example:
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“I’m taking things one day at a time.”
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“It’s been a tough season, but I’m managing.”
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“Thank you for asking. I appreciate your support.”
You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation. Keeping it simple can help you feel more at ease.
Take Breaks When Needed
Don’t hesitate to step outside for fresh air, find a quiet corner, or even take a short walk if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Giving yourself permission to take breaks helps you stay grounded and prevents emotional exhaustion.
Practice Self-Compassion
Remember, attending a holiday party while grieving is a brave act. Be kind to yourself. It’s okay if you don’t feel festive or if your energy is low. What matters most is honoring your needs and taking care of your heart.
If you’re navigating grief this holiday season and want support, check out my Grief Recovery 101 and 201 Workbooks or consider joining the Grief Recovery Method® 6-Week Course for guidance and healing.