Because survival mode isn’t meant to last forever
Grief is not something you “get over.” It’s something you live with, move through, and slowly learn to carry differently. On the hardest days, even the simplest things, eating, resting, getting dressed, can feel like monumental tasks.
That’s why self-care isn’t just a buzzword. When you are grieving, it can be the difference between barely making it through the day and finding small moments of steadiness in the chaos.
But here is the truth: real self-care while grieving does not always look like long baths or green smoothies. Sometimes it looks like canceling plans, crying in your car, or eating cereal for dinner. And that counts, too.
Below are a few gentle, doable ways to care for yourself, body, mind, and spirit, as you navigate grief. Not all of them will be right for you every day, but maybe one will land at just the right time.
1. Honor Your Capacity
Grief changes your bandwidth. You may not have the energy, focus, or motivation you once did. And that is okay. Give yourself permission to scale back. Say no to extra obligations. Let your house be a little messier. You are doing something emotionally heavy, even if no one else can see it.
2. Let Rest Count as Progress
Grief is exhausting. Physical rest, mental rest, emotional rest — they are all essential. Even if you did not “get anything done” today, resting is doing something. It is tending to the parts of you that are in pain. So whether it is sleep, a slow walk, or simply laying down without a goal, let rest be part of your process.
3. Nourish Yourself in Ways That Feel Possible
Some days you might make a real meal. Other days, it might be toast and tea. Try not to judge your choices. Your body is under stress and it needs fuel. Do what you can. A small snack, a sip of water, a warm drink — these little acts send the message that you are still here, still worth caring for.
4. Create Small Anchors in Your Day
When everything feels unpredictable, small rituals can offer comfort. It might be lighting a candle each morning, journaling one sentence before bed, or walking the same short loop around the block. You do not have to do them perfectly. The point is consistency — not performance.
5. Give Yourself a Safe Outlet
Grief carries many emotions: sadness, anger, regret, numbness. Having a space to express them — even privately — can lighten the load. This could be writing, crying, praying, talking to a trusted friend, or sitting quietly with your feelings. What matters is allowing what is true to come up without shame.
6. Connect When You’re Able
You do not have to be “on.” But being with people who let you show up exactly as you are can bring moments of relief. Whether it is texting a friend, joining a support group, or simply sitting in the same room as someone else, connection reminds us we are not meant to carry this alone.
7. Notice the Gentle Moments
You may not feel joy right now, but you might still notice a few soft things: the warmth of a blanket, the scent of coffee, a song you have always loved. These are not solutions — but they are reminders. Even in grief, your senses still work. Life still speaks. You are still here.
Grief is a long, winding process. There is no right pace, no fixed path. But taking care of yourself along the way is not selfish — it is necessary. It helps you stay tethered to the present. It creates space for healing. And it gently affirms: you matter, even in this.
You are not alone in your grief. You do not have to figure it all out today. Just take the next kind step.
Ready to Explore More Support?
If you want tools and guidance to help you move through grief, check out these resources:
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Grief 101 and 201 Workbooks
Explore practical exercises and insights to support your healing journey.
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The Grief Recovery Method® 6-Week Course
Join personalized grief recovery support with me in this online course designed to guide you step-by-step.
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You don’t have to walk this path alone. Support is here when you are ready.